Snippet and Ink

Here is one of the wedding blogs I've started to follow and drool over:

They recommend all kinds of different vendors, give color inspiration, and all kinds of other goodies.

Thanks to some encouragement I have decided to continue to pursue getting into the Navy. I know I want to go back to school for something and having the chance for the Navy to pay for it is really appealing. That isn't the main reason I want to go into the Navy of course. The Navy means putting some other goals aside for a couple years, but not forever. Besides, I don't even know if they'll accept me, but I don't want to give up on applying. I'm going to try a little harder. How I'm going to get into physical shape for it is beyond me, but I'll start today. Should be interesting.

Easter weekend was fun and seeing Bryan all dressed up is something I always look forward to. He looks damn good in a nice pair of slacks, a crisp white shirt and a tie. If I do say so myself. I forgot my camera at home like an airhead but my mom took a picture of us and I'll have to bug her to put email it to me or something.

My Dad became surprisingly angry when I mentioned that we asked my best friend's girlfriend to perform our wedding ceremony. I told them she was a reverend (she isn't really, she just printed out a certificate online). So my Dad was very upset and said he wouldn't attend our wedding ceremony if a woman preacher was the officiator. So I explained she wasn't really a reverend, but that if she could get a license to marry that we would really like her to do it. Well, he was still angry because I guess you can't even have a civil ceremony done by a woman. I don't really know the rules on these things. I KNOW that women can marry people, but I don't know how grey it becomes when my religion is tossed in there. Bryan and I of course want God mentioned in our ceremony somehow, but is it wrong if a woman performs it? I don't believe so, but apparently my father does. I hate to give in on my beliefs, but I'd also hate my father to think our marriage wasn't legitimate and not attend the wedding. I'll probably just compromise if he feels that strongly about it...any ideas or opinions on a religious (christian) ceremony performed by a woman??

Blog Rolls

I'm also really psyched about the new blogs I found to follow. For the longest time I read mommy blogs because for some odd reason I felt a connection to them, but I found a 20something forum and I joined. Found new blogs from people my age and love them.

I've also found a bunch of great wedding blogs that I'll probably steal all my ideas from. Their inspirational and make me feel good about taking my wedding in a "green" direction!

Broken Record

I've said it once; I've said it a million times. I have the hardest time figuring out where I want my professional life to go. The past month or so I've been focusing on the Navy, going in as an officer. I've spoken to a couple recruiters, written and motivation statement, and started working on my physical shape. That is very far. After I sent a draft of my motivational statement it took him almost 2 weeks to get back to me and all he said was "looks good"...wow, big help. If he thinks I don't have a chance to get in as an officer I wish he'd just tell me so I can stop wasting my time. I think the reason I turned to the Navy is I'm seeking some kind of personal fulfillment in how I make a living. I'm apathetic and despondent about my current career path and I don't particularly want to continue following it. I struggle with my desires and being practical. I wanted to go into Public Affairs in the Navy but have the understanding that it's an elite club where no one ever leaves and few get to join. So with that in mind I have lost a lot of interest in the Navy. Being a Surface Warfare Officer would be really cool because I'd get to travel a lot and learn a lot of different skills, but nothing focused. I would come out of the Navy with general knowledge and leadership skills. Valuable traits I know, but I just don't want to go back into some office setting with a focus on something I don't really feel passionate about.

I go back and forth (and I mean back and forth) between goals and desires that is frustrates the hell out of me and I imagine people don't take me seriously anymore when I talk about another one of my crazy ideas and lofty goals. I start out strong and burn out quickly. Once I reach a hurdle, I just quit. Or sometimes it isn't even a hurdle. Sometimes it will be the result of daydreaming about another path I could take. I have so many interests that I can't focus on one and make it a reality in my life. I have career ADD, if that exists. All I know is I don't care about my current job. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't feel so much TENSION here, but I do. I'm thankful for my job; I thank God everyday for a steady paycheck. But the poison at work is leaking into my personal life. No bueno. The distraction of wedding planning has been nice, but we're putting off the wedding until next year for a reason! Because there are other more important things we need to focus on right now.

So believe it or not I have another goal in mind besides the Navy. I have identified the problem: I'm seeking professional fulfillment. Now I need to find the most practical way for ME to achieve that. I can reach it in many many ways, I just need to narrow down the goals and choose one that is practical for me, both financially and personally. I don't want my fears and feelings of inadequacy to hold me back.

Allergies

They're attacking me early. I've been pretty much useless all morning until about now. Everytime I tried to focus on something on the computer my head just ached and my eyes felt heavy. Luckily, I was able to sit back in my office for a few and relax. I almost did not come to work this morning, but I figured I wasn't sick enough and I hardly have any leave left until freakin October. It's tough to choose when to stay home and when to get up out of bed.

B-ry has been getting on my case about calling him my boyfriend. He wants me to say fiance. I don't have a problem with it, I just forget. I think we're both settling on the idea of getting married next October. It's a long time from now, but we really need to focus on careers and moving. And besides that my brother is engaged also and says he and his fiancee are trying to plan their wedding in November or December of this year. So 2009 can be their year and 2010 will be our year. I'm not in any hurry. Not like we can have a baby yet anyway.

I need to make a menu for the rest of the week....

We Spend How Much?!

Today's weather in Baltimore is so fitting. The weekend was beautiful and sunny and today, Monday is rainy and dark. Today is also opening day at Camden Yards for the Orioles. I specifically remember that it was raining last year on opening day because I had just started my new job and my brother called me and was down the street hanging out for opening day. So I walked a few blocks in the mist and heels to hang out for a few minutes during my lunch. Not much has changed since then, but whatever.

In March, B-ry and I started using a rewards credit card as a debit card. We had been planning on trying this for a few months but the card always had a balance from work travel I had. It was finally all paid off and March was the first month we tried this new experiment. I figured we'd use it for everything non-bill related because it carried rewards for spending unlike our debit cards and so we could more easily track how much we're spending on non-essentials. Wow. We spent a lot. Somehow we still had enough to pay it all at the end of the month. Basically, we spend a lot more than I thought. I think we ate out a little more than we usually do and shopped a bit more, but still. I'm curious to see how this month goes. We're starting to obtain our camping supplies for summer adventures, so I bet it'll look about the same. I'm thinking there are "necessities" like this every month. As long as we have enough to pay it off each month, I don't really worry about it. I think we stress ourselves out too much already to try and curb our spending any more than we do. Though now with wedding planning, we'll probably start putting a little more in savings than usual. Overall though I believe we're keeping our heads straight "in this economy". The job search continues and we'll just keep plugging away.

Mood Swings

I have them, you have them. Mine seem to be getting worse. Like this morning a lot of things are bothering me and I seem ultra sensitive. Don't know why. One day I'll be happy about certain things, like other people's good fortune or an easy drive to work. The next day? It's like, "who cares?" Like I'm resentful or something. No good. I've been wondering if the changes in climate at work can affect your own well being? Cause my job is like a roller coaster.

In other news, I'm really looking forward to this weekend. The cherry blossoms are in bloom in DC and the Sakura Matsuri Street Fesitval is tomorrow. We have some plans on Sunday too, but I'm really looking forward to tomorrow because Bryan has never been. Experiencing new things together is so much fun for me.

Freakin' Engaged!

He did a good job and totally caught me off guard! He said the ring was ready before he thought it would be and when he finally had it he didn't really want to wait long to ask me. My parents and his parents already knew, I am glad he was traditional and asked for my parents' blessing first. We cried, I said yes and while we probably aren't getting married until next October, we are really excited. Life has been pretty good for us lately and we're just focusing on jobs and moving out of our small apartment for now. We want a small wedding but our family alone is about 80 people (including kids) so now we aren't sure if a small wedding is possible. I mentioned lowering my standards on the setting, but Bryan insists on making it what we want. I just envision it being simple and elegant, but a little quirky. Just like us.