The Blues

I feel like I need to somehow chronicle what a mess I've made of planning my wedding, but I don't have the time for it at this moment. I want to do it though because I've learned a lot in the past couple months and I don't want to forget these lessons. I figured what better place but my blog? More later.

The high wore off

I was probably riding the engagement high during the blip of consistant blogging. No suprise I fell off my pony. I enjoy reading other people's blogs way too much. I discovered Google Reader and the blogging just stopped. I follow some stupid amount of blogs that until recently I have been keeping up with. So what happened in May, June and July?
MAY

I can't really think of anything remarkable except that Bryan and I decided to move out of our efficiency because we thought he had a new job lined up.

JUNE

Again, nothing really significant except it was a tough month for me emotionally, I'm trying to recover from that.

JULY

We moved! Into our 2 bedroom apartment in the sky! Our cat doesn't seem to be taking the move well, but I think he's improving and calming down. It is so less stressful for us to have room to breathe, we aren't right on top of each other anymore! That alone has improved my mood tons. Oh and we decided we didn't want to wait until next October to wed. So we're in the process of finding a venue for December 31st. We have one place already on hold for us, but we want to check out one more place on the water to see if it'll work in our budget.

I'm trying really hard to relax more and not worry so much. For instance, this weekend we're going camping at Rehoboth Beach. Impulsively I decided to book a hotel room on the boardwalk in Ocean City and leave a night early. I got an incredible deal and now I'm super excited to leave!! Bryan and I have never been to the beach together so we're eagerly anticipating the new experiences to be had.

I just found out my D40 has a wireless shutter release remote so I really wish we had it for this weekend but maybe we can use the timer and get a few shots. I wanted his mom to take some engagement photos for us but she is leaving for Europa next week and doesn't have time. But I think we need to send out Save the Dates since the wedding will be on a sort of Holiday. We were going to skip them, oh well.

So all my wedding excited-ness will probably come out in this blog because besides Bryan I really don't talk about it much to anyone else. Hopefully, the 31st will work out!

Oh and Bryan is going to start selling those fancy BOSE Noise Quieting Headphones so if anyone wants a pair half off, see me or him!! It'll go to helping our wedding!!

Frugal or Green?

Or both! I'm realizing that my mother's old frugal ways are today's eco-friendly habits. I used to think my mom was weird for reusing zip loc bags, but now I find myself doing the same thing to cut down on waste. Also like keeping rags handing for cleaning. Luckily, these habits save money too! So lately I find myself thinking of ways my mother used to cut corners and reuse things for a different use. My mother also kept plastic butter containers to store left overs. Though I hated peeking inside butter containers in fear of finding moldy food (yeah...my mom worked full time) and it takes Bryan and I over a month to use up an entire butter container, maybe I'll start keeping an eye out for useful, reusable containers.

I also find myself gravitating to green wedding blogs, too. Now that our wedding is becoming more and more simplified due to funding I am going to enjoy finding ways I can add hand-made detail to our wedding. I haven't really been very artistic in the past, but I also haven't really had ways to apply my limited artistic talent. So I'm hoping it shines for our wedding.

For the time being I'll be focused on different design....for our new apartment! We will pretty much know in about a week whether or not we're moving in July. We reserved a 2 bdrm right down the street from us yesterday. It's very white and boring so now I'll be on the hunt for affordable and hopefully green ways we can decorate our apartment. Paint will definitely be needed. I'm excited to have a short term tangible goal to focus on, I've needed that for some time.

Happy Birthday!!

Today is my really awesome sister in law's birthday! Mary is an exceptional wife, mother, woman, friend and so on. She blogs over at My Thinking Chair and it is worth a read to see my adorable nieces! Also, she has her own Etsy store called Banana Bear Boutique. She and her friend make hair bows, baby burpies, gift sets, clothes, I Spy bags and more. If I ever have a baby shower gift to buy, I know I'll go to her store and feel good buying something handmade of great quality. Happy Birthday, Mary!!!

Bike Ride

Finally, the weather was really warm this weekend. On Saturday we went to the National Zoo. We arrived later in the day so we missed the lions and tigers, but it was still nice to get out. It was really crowded there, but we got to see a huge hippo (what other size are they, really?) at eating time. I got some good pictures from that.

Yesterday, we got some cleaning done and rearranged some furniture. Then, I got the bright idea to go for a bike ride. So we rode around Piney Orchard and I could barely make it home. The hills and dry air nearly killed me (or so I felt). I can't believe how out of shape I am. Bryan said the back tire on the bike I was riding was pretty flat, but still.

My brother gave me some pointers on the Motivational Statement for the Navy application. Hopefully, I will work up the nerve to call this other recruiter. Somethings seems funny about him, but a phone call can't hurt me. Otherwise, I'm just trying to plug away and keep all doors open to new opportunities.

Foodie?

Last night B and I ate at Chili's and we didn't enjoy it. I find more and more that I do not enjoy eating out a chain restaurants anymore (besides mexican!! hello chipotle!). I just felt gross and bloated after I left. I might have already shared this once, but I'm going to share it again:



It truly is a great site. I receive daily e-mails from them and she covers EVERYTHING. She has recipes for restaurant swaps, reviews on new low-cal products, quick and easy recipes, awesome drinks and fast food restaurant reviews. There is more, but that is all I could think of off the top of my head.

In February or March I also bought a copy of this magazine:



B and I probably ate from this magazine for 2 weeks, that is how many easy recipes there were inside. Dare I say, I like it more than the Food Network Magazine, which by the way I haven't gotten the next issue of in the mail. Food Network is good for more elegant, planned meals. But Clean Eating actually had week night friendly recipes and we felt GOOD eating them.

Bed Frames

Woke up in a terrible mood this morning.
One: the bed is falling apart (on my side) so the matress dips in uncomfortable places.
Two: had bad dreams about b and i
Three: sick of our crowded apartment

We are busting out of the seams. I was looking all morning at rentals, but I can't find anything. It's really frustrating. Hopefully B will start a new job soon and we'll have a bigger budget to work with. I wanted to put off moving until I knew whether or not I had a chance to go into the Navy. But I'm miserable in this home. Besides I'm tackling the Navy at a snails pace. I sent another e-mail to my recruiter and he's out of the office until tomorrow. So yeah things are moving right along. I'm trying to get all the annoying paperwork out of the way and then I can focus on the fitness and studying. There are just so many things on our plates right now I'm trying to take one piece at a time so I don't become totally overwhelmed.

So I'm looking for a new bed frame on IKEA this morning. Nothing really caught my eye. I've always gotten my furniture from them, if anyone is aware of another affordable furniture retailer; let me know!

Snippet and Ink

Here is one of the wedding blogs I've started to follow and drool over:

They recommend all kinds of different vendors, give color inspiration, and all kinds of other goodies.

Thanks to some encouragement I have decided to continue to pursue getting into the Navy. I know I want to go back to school for something and having the chance for the Navy to pay for it is really appealing. That isn't the main reason I want to go into the Navy of course. The Navy means putting some other goals aside for a couple years, but not forever. Besides, I don't even know if they'll accept me, but I don't want to give up on applying. I'm going to try a little harder. How I'm going to get into physical shape for it is beyond me, but I'll start today. Should be interesting.

Easter weekend was fun and seeing Bryan all dressed up is something I always look forward to. He looks damn good in a nice pair of slacks, a crisp white shirt and a tie. If I do say so myself. I forgot my camera at home like an airhead but my mom took a picture of us and I'll have to bug her to put email it to me or something.

My Dad became surprisingly angry when I mentioned that we asked my best friend's girlfriend to perform our wedding ceremony. I told them she was a reverend (she isn't really, she just printed out a certificate online). So my Dad was very upset and said he wouldn't attend our wedding ceremony if a woman preacher was the officiator. So I explained she wasn't really a reverend, but that if she could get a license to marry that we would really like her to do it. Well, he was still angry because I guess you can't even have a civil ceremony done by a woman. I don't really know the rules on these things. I KNOW that women can marry people, but I don't know how grey it becomes when my religion is tossed in there. Bryan and I of course want God mentioned in our ceremony somehow, but is it wrong if a woman performs it? I don't believe so, but apparently my father does. I hate to give in on my beliefs, but I'd also hate my father to think our marriage wasn't legitimate and not attend the wedding. I'll probably just compromise if he feels that strongly about it...any ideas or opinions on a religious (christian) ceremony performed by a woman??

Blog Rolls

I'm also really psyched about the new blogs I found to follow. For the longest time I read mommy blogs because for some odd reason I felt a connection to them, but I found a 20something forum and I joined. Found new blogs from people my age and love them.

I've also found a bunch of great wedding blogs that I'll probably steal all my ideas from. Their inspirational and make me feel good about taking my wedding in a "green" direction!

Broken Record

I've said it once; I've said it a million times. I have the hardest time figuring out where I want my professional life to go. The past month or so I've been focusing on the Navy, going in as an officer. I've spoken to a couple recruiters, written and motivation statement, and started working on my physical shape. That is very far. After I sent a draft of my motivational statement it took him almost 2 weeks to get back to me and all he said was "looks good"...wow, big help. If he thinks I don't have a chance to get in as an officer I wish he'd just tell me so I can stop wasting my time. I think the reason I turned to the Navy is I'm seeking some kind of personal fulfillment in how I make a living. I'm apathetic and despondent about my current career path and I don't particularly want to continue following it. I struggle with my desires and being practical. I wanted to go into Public Affairs in the Navy but have the understanding that it's an elite club where no one ever leaves and few get to join. So with that in mind I have lost a lot of interest in the Navy. Being a Surface Warfare Officer would be really cool because I'd get to travel a lot and learn a lot of different skills, but nothing focused. I would come out of the Navy with general knowledge and leadership skills. Valuable traits I know, but I just don't want to go back into some office setting with a focus on something I don't really feel passionate about.

I go back and forth (and I mean back and forth) between goals and desires that is frustrates the hell out of me and I imagine people don't take me seriously anymore when I talk about another one of my crazy ideas and lofty goals. I start out strong and burn out quickly. Once I reach a hurdle, I just quit. Or sometimes it isn't even a hurdle. Sometimes it will be the result of daydreaming about another path I could take. I have so many interests that I can't focus on one and make it a reality in my life. I have career ADD, if that exists. All I know is I don't care about my current job. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't feel so much TENSION here, but I do. I'm thankful for my job; I thank God everyday for a steady paycheck. But the poison at work is leaking into my personal life. No bueno. The distraction of wedding planning has been nice, but we're putting off the wedding until next year for a reason! Because there are other more important things we need to focus on right now.

So believe it or not I have another goal in mind besides the Navy. I have identified the problem: I'm seeking professional fulfillment. Now I need to find the most practical way for ME to achieve that. I can reach it in many many ways, I just need to narrow down the goals and choose one that is practical for me, both financially and personally. I don't want my fears and feelings of inadequacy to hold me back.

Allergies

They're attacking me early. I've been pretty much useless all morning until about now. Everytime I tried to focus on something on the computer my head just ached and my eyes felt heavy. Luckily, I was able to sit back in my office for a few and relax. I almost did not come to work this morning, but I figured I wasn't sick enough and I hardly have any leave left until freakin October. It's tough to choose when to stay home and when to get up out of bed.

B-ry has been getting on my case about calling him my boyfriend. He wants me to say fiance. I don't have a problem with it, I just forget. I think we're both settling on the idea of getting married next October. It's a long time from now, but we really need to focus on careers and moving. And besides that my brother is engaged also and says he and his fiancee are trying to plan their wedding in November or December of this year. So 2009 can be their year and 2010 will be our year. I'm not in any hurry. Not like we can have a baby yet anyway.

I need to make a menu for the rest of the week....

We Spend How Much?!

Today's weather in Baltimore is so fitting. The weekend was beautiful and sunny and today, Monday is rainy and dark. Today is also opening day at Camden Yards for the Orioles. I specifically remember that it was raining last year on opening day because I had just started my new job and my brother called me and was down the street hanging out for opening day. So I walked a few blocks in the mist and heels to hang out for a few minutes during my lunch. Not much has changed since then, but whatever.

In March, B-ry and I started using a rewards credit card as a debit card. We had been planning on trying this for a few months but the card always had a balance from work travel I had. It was finally all paid off and March was the first month we tried this new experiment. I figured we'd use it for everything non-bill related because it carried rewards for spending unlike our debit cards and so we could more easily track how much we're spending on non-essentials. Wow. We spent a lot. Somehow we still had enough to pay it all at the end of the month. Basically, we spend a lot more than I thought. I think we ate out a little more than we usually do and shopped a bit more, but still. I'm curious to see how this month goes. We're starting to obtain our camping supplies for summer adventures, so I bet it'll look about the same. I'm thinking there are "necessities" like this every month. As long as we have enough to pay it off each month, I don't really worry about it. I think we stress ourselves out too much already to try and curb our spending any more than we do. Though now with wedding planning, we'll probably start putting a little more in savings than usual. Overall though I believe we're keeping our heads straight "in this economy". The job search continues and we'll just keep plugging away.

Mood Swings

I have them, you have them. Mine seem to be getting worse. Like this morning a lot of things are bothering me and I seem ultra sensitive. Don't know why. One day I'll be happy about certain things, like other people's good fortune or an easy drive to work. The next day? It's like, "who cares?" Like I'm resentful or something. No good. I've been wondering if the changes in climate at work can affect your own well being? Cause my job is like a roller coaster.

In other news, I'm really looking forward to this weekend. The cherry blossoms are in bloom in DC and the Sakura Matsuri Street Fesitval is tomorrow. We have some plans on Sunday too, but I'm really looking forward to tomorrow because Bryan has never been. Experiencing new things together is so much fun for me.

Freakin' Engaged!

He did a good job and totally caught me off guard! He said the ring was ready before he thought it would be and when he finally had it he didn't really want to wait long to ask me. My parents and his parents already knew, I am glad he was traditional and asked for my parents' blessing first. We cried, I said yes and while we probably aren't getting married until next October, we are really excited. Life has been pretty good for us lately and we're just focusing on jobs and moving out of our small apartment for now. We want a small wedding but our family alone is about 80 people (including kids) so now we aren't sure if a small wedding is possible. I mentioned lowering my standards on the setting, but Bryan insists on making it what we want. I just envision it being simple and elegant, but a little quirky. Just like us.